My Body: The Villain
When I was younger, I remember thinking about how I was “bigger” than most of my friends. I remember layering up in clothes (especially jackets) to hide my weight around friends and even family. As a child, even one that chooses to grow up way too fast, I was still a child. I shouldn’t have been worried about my weight, eating more than one slice of cake or multiple bowls of ice cream. Sure, it wasn’t healthy, but a child deserves to be a child.
Throughout high-school, I would cut back on eating when I could, and I dreaded gym class. I mean, what young plus-size girl wouldn’t. The thought of exercising or even changing in the locker room among my fellow peers scared me sick. I wished to be like them, “smaller”. Praying that if I was, the love that I had for myself would change. I never needed a mirror to know that I was bigger than others, and I knew it would always be a constant battle of love and hate when it came to my body.
Fast forward to today and I have tried almost everything when it comes to losing weight. I’ve counted the calories, I tried the diets, I’ve worried myself sick (to the point of not eating), I’ve thought about more harmful ways to lose the weight, I’ve paid for the “magic pills”, I’ve bought the workout DVD's and the programs, but one thing I never thought to include in my struggle of body-acceptance was Christ.
Throughout high-school, I would cut back on eating when I could, and I dreaded gym class. I mean, what young plus-size girl wouldn’t. The thought of exercising or even changing in the locker room among my fellow peers scared me sick. I wished to be like them, “smaller”. Praying that if I was, the love that I had for myself would change. I never needed a mirror to know that I was bigger than others, and I knew it would always be a constant battle of love and hate when it came to my body.
Fast forward to today and I have tried almost everything when it comes to losing weight. I’ve counted the calories, I tried the diets, I’ve worried myself sick (to the point of not eating), I’ve thought about more harmful ways to lose the weight, I’ve paid for the “magic pills”, I’ve bought the workout DVD's and the programs, but one thing I never thought to include in my struggle of body-acceptance was Christ.
What if freedom isn't who you will be, but accepting who you are now.