For as long as I can remember, I would pray to have my fairytale. Yes, I would pray for it. I guess you could say I was trying to pray about everything, even things that I had no idea praying for as a little girl.
As Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Over time I tried to tell myself, it wasn't the fairytale that I wanted because everyone else had an opinion about what my own fairytale should be. After bitterness from their comments and out-loud thoughts, I simply prayed for love, and boy, did God deliver. There was so much love from people that I let in. Partners who would: make broken promises. cheat, lie, stay out until 2am, call me crazy, and gaslight me. This wasn't the kind of love I was praying for. I knew a change had to be made. Most would think it was the people that I was with, the ones that treated me badly or didn't give back the love I gave to them, but were they to blame for it all or had I been too vague with my prayers for love? I prayed for love... not knowing it might've been just me giving the love. Maybe you're like me and you're praying for that, love, and if you are I would like to tell you this... Don't pray for just love, go deeper. Tell God what your needs and wants are. Ask him to open not only your mind but your heart to recognize your life partner. Be specific, but remember, your life partner could be someone completely opposite of who normally would have your attention. Watch your surroundings while asking him to remove obstacles in the way of this already planned meeting. Lastly, ask him to remove anyone from your life that is against your happiness and to give you grace and peace through this knowing and acceptance. Like I have said before, talk to him like you're talking to a friend. He already knows it all, so don't be ashamed. It took a lot of time for me to understand that I was praying for what I wanted and desired instead of praying for what I knew would be good for me, different from before, better than before, and there's a huge difference with those. I stopped looking. I stopped wanting. I started praying with intention. I acknowledge the loss. I accepted the change. I didn't settle. I left when God closed the door, I reopened it a few times, just to make sure, but I finally listened to him and let it stay close. I didn't accept anything less than what I deserved. It's different for everyone, but just like you, I’ve always wanted to have my fairytale, and through a lot of heartache, sad moments and happy moments, bitterness, and everything in between, with God's time, I finally have what I have always prayed for and it's better than I could have ever imagined.
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AuthorExplore the depths of emotions, feelings and thoughts, through raw, honest, and unapologetic expression in poetry, prose and blog form. Archives
June 2024
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