For so long, I would see things happening on social media, and it would stir up all these feelings within myself: comparison, competition, and jealousy. As much as I didn't want it to, the feelings would take over me. I would wrestle with them and would try to protect myself from what I was feeling by asking opinions of others and seeking advice from others. I would try so hard not to project my mood from the feelings I felt onto others.
But sometimes we're the own thief of our enjoyment. We let things and feelings steal so much more than just joy. It SLOWLY tarnishes everything we see and changes how we allow ourselves to grow and how we see ourselves. Before we had social media comparison came from those we were around: friends, family, classmates, strangers, and not to mention fictional characters in books and magazines, but the world couldn't stay that small. Comparison couldn't stay that small. With time we had portals at our fingertips; small little windows to see into the lives of others -- the comparison got worse. Truth is, anything can affect us in a negative way if we give it too much of our attention. Scrolling becomes a nightly habit that leaves you with intrusive thoughts with 'silver-lining what-ifs'. How come I'm not a best-selling author? Am I not good enough? Do I look the part of who (they) believe me to be? Comparison can make you irritated and angry, just mad at the world. You find yourself with more anmosity than ever before with exhaustion in your bones. One negative thought can, sadly, rearrange your outlook on your entire day. This doesn't just project onto people you have never met, but it projects onto those you see and talk to every day. I have found so far in my journey (not far into it), comparisons will stop when I stop feeding it. If I am in a space or entertain the idea of being in a space where I feel like my worth isn't valid or there is comparison, then I need to leave. In spaces like these, I will always be in comparison and not grow to my potential. Maybe, you have been here before, celebrating others instead of yourself. Waiting and watching for someone else to announce their rebirth to take attention off of yours in lack of fear of comparison to their story. But you too, must be celebrated. I know it's not easy, but sometimes, it's better to exit the portal at our fingertips, the rebirth stories of others, leave the jealousy and comparison behind us and focus on the now, the now as individuals that we're living in.
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AuthorExplore the depths of emotions, feelings and thoughts, through raw, honest, and unapologetic expression in poetry, prose and blog form. Archives
June 2024
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